It feels strange to try and look back on the person I was before I left. While outwardly I appeared to have it all together I was such a mess inside. So much, in fact, that I even did a good job of masking that from myself. I learned a very important lesson: It's not about forgiveness, or giving someone a second chance. It's about letting it go, and continuing on to make something better. Taiwan has give me so much that I feel I didn't give it back enough. Taiwan returned my father to me, my family--it gave me a happiness like I have never felt and erased the heaviness I have been carrying in my heart for so many years. It gave me love, friendship, and hope. Taiwan gave me life. Now I'm going to live it, regardless of where I lay my head at night.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Forty days have passed now and I am beginning to settle back into things. I started back at work on Monday, and it definitely was a welcome change from sitting around at home and wishing. I have a new roommate to spend time with at home, and things are going well. Forty days at home seems simultaneously like forever and no time at all. So much had happened after forty days in Taiwan and it felt like such a long time. Everyone I see at work now asks me about it. It is always the same two questions, and I always give the same two answers. "How was it?" Beyond anything I ever could have imagined. "Would you do it again?" I'd leave tomorrow if I could.