Lately, I have lost the need to spend time writing down what I did during the day, and instead I feel the need to use that time living. My remaining time here is short, but my supply of words is shorter. In one way, I want to go as quickly as I can, so that I may return sooner. In another way, I want to live in these moments for as long as I can make them last because I'm afraid something will happen and cause me to lose this forever.
It's invigorating to finally live my life the way I want, instead of making decisions based on what others will think. I'm doing this for myself because it makes me happy. I know during these last ten days or so I have caused many people to be upset with me, but for the first time in my life I don't care. Letting go of the weight I had been dragging around has given me such a vast inner peace with myself. I have faced many of my fears and dealt with them. I am new. I am whole. I am alive.
When my friend Jess told me about reverse culture shock, I shrugged it off as no big deal. Now just imaging myself at my apartment in Morgantown, or at work, makes me feel like a fish out of water. However, it must be done. I will adapt. I will survive. I will patiently and diligently bide my time until I can return to where my soul feels at home.
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